"This only is our English!"

Let’s face it…we as Indians, live all over the world, with vast majorities in the United States, UK, the Middle East and Australia, and in smaller minorities in the rest of Europe and Asia.
We belong to multiple religions and share diverse cultures. We indulge in diverse cuisines and speak different languages; but one thing unites us all, and that is, how we speak our beloved English language.

A collection of the most common sentences we hear from our comrades living all over the world…and the sheer confusion it causes.


“Back home, I had a two-wheeler”
(Exactly what kind of wheelie is that?)


“I think it is over costly”
(Firstly, what’s expensive isn’t ‘costly’…and two, what’s over it?)


“Is it veg or non-veg?”
(I’ve never failed to have fun with this typical yes-I-am-from-India dialog)


“It was on that street, na?”
(Na…I don’t think so)


“Who and all went there, I don’t know”
(The “and all” adds a desi touch to any statement don’t you think?)


“So only you told him, but he will not listen, isn’t it?”
(If you understood this, congratulations!)


“No, not vacation; I’m going to my native.”
(Another classic that leaves heads spinning)


“I used to go to office by auto, sometimes share-auto”
(To be honest, I’m not sure if anyone outside India will ever understand this one)


“I’m sure he can able to do this one”
(No comments on this, please)


“Tastes very good; especially with brinjal fry”
(I don’t know why, but most Asian vegetables aren’t known in the western world. And our “brinjal” has at least two other names.)


“Sorry, but she is out of station”
(She's out of where?)


“So, where are you put up?”
(Bad enough that I have to put up with this statement, he means to ask where you live)


“Binesh sir is not here – can you call later?”
(Okay, so he’s respected, but surely this guy Binesh is not knighted?)


"Right now I'm taking food"

(...and where are you taking it?)


"What is your good name?"

(Er...you mean like I also have a bad one?)


"Since extra work came up, my evening plans went for a toss"

(Cricket-inspired jargon. Another reason I hate that game)


…and there’s probably a ton more - I just can't think of any more for the fear my head might explode. And to all you non-Indians reading this and smirking at us…yes, English is our language too.

And we will speak it like this only.
:-)

20 comments:

A wo(a)ndering mind said...

yes.. that wonly!! very well-said! Louly post!

the pink orchid said...

i hate cricket too..
lol i am rofl.. hhaahaah it was hilarious..i use some of them myself.. guess i need to correct them..but it was amazing.. more than the statements, it was your comments that made it a complete power-packed laughter material..

enjoyed reading it.. :)

haze said...

dude !!! u forgot the best one !!!

"wat is your father ?????"

and this was the first day of ragging in coll !!! and i m like wat the *$%& is he talking !!!!

and my answer to it was ... "human.... errr... NRI , sir !!!" =P

Rayees Ahamed said...

hehe,

See, This is avarr(our) dialect of Englishu, exactly the same way as the Americans easily make the vowels 'o' and u' to sound like 'a'.

This is our way, why to change it ?

Within India itself Englishu differs from one place to another, for example

Malayali: Twenty Two Auto (Dwendy Doo Aowtoe)

Bengali: Fifty four people (Phifty Phour Pheepal)

Gujrati: Early (arrrlee) morning (maar ning) i went to Berlin (Barrlin)

Jaffer said...

(accent)Rimember dath Madam we had in twelth standard for Physics ? Or was it elevent standard ? She was from Madras ? She was also our electronics Madam.
You used to pointed our her Yell, Yemm and Yenn.(/accent)

Haha !
Believe it or not, Indian English is officially recognized as a dialect of the English language.

Ever since I discovered that, I have never "corrected" anyone's English.
But now, I find it amusing.

"Vaat are you smiling about ?"

-=A.R.N.=- said...

@manasi
:)


@thepinkorchid
Actually you don't really have to change...like I said, its not like most of this is wrong: "What is your good name?" is a perfectly valid sentence in India.

Only thing is, it sounds weird outside India.


@haze
oh yeah!! That was another classic

-=A.R.N.=- said...

@rayees
Yeah...everyone seems to have their own dialect.
But actually my point was not on the accents...its the ridiculously "indian" words/phrases people use sometimes.

After all, "three lakh euros" doesnt make sense to anybody!



@jaffer
LOL yeah...I remember her; Yell, Yem and Yenn. :D

But like I said above, actually the whole point of the post was not on accents (hey, we all have them - even you white folks reading this!)

Where I work, we have people from all over the world - each with their own accent.

The only problem with our guy is, they throw in sentences with "curd", "brinjal", "lakhs" and all sorts of indian phrases...that's what leaves heads spinning.

Mannu said...

Great! this one really an eye-opener!( er..the one that brings wisdon inside the mind ;-) _

Sheeraz Ahamed Khateeb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shimmer said...

you don't like cricket?? :O
now that's news.

this is actually a 'sixer' post :P

we surely have our own english, ive always failed to say 'mobile phones' instead of 'cell phones'

-=A.R.N.=- said...

@mannu
Thx...although I must admit, I tend to mix up phrases myself.

@Sheeru
(Even though you removed your comment)...dude, thx a lot.
Never realized people from your office read my blog...
I'm so honored. ^_^


@Shimmer
Hey hi!
Yeah, I'm probably the only Indian alive who absolutely hates cricket...and btw, cell phones aren't wrong I guess.
In germany they call them a "handy"
LOL

Shimmer said...

its not wrong, its just that no one's got a clue of what im talking about :P

RukmaniRam said...

"Right now I'm taking food (...and where are you taking it?)"

*generous dose of laughter*

"What is your good name? (Er...you mean like I also have a bad one?)"- there's a golt movie with that in it.atleast a version of it.

Ela said...

Funny post...yeap...Indians are legends when it comes to English...

once we had a Mallu grad student in our Institute...his scientific work had an huge impact on memory research and his data was widely praised.....obviously he got to give a talk in every meeting...the first time in our institute retreat he gave the talk....people tried hard at first to follow, becoz of his work, then gave it up...when the talk was over, a guy next to me asked whether i was able to understand anything....

Thw worst was the discussion w after the talk...i felt like digging a hole in the ground and hiding my head...
The point is, no one need to be perfect, but atleast can try to change for the best...which our people don't care about!

Ela said...

sorry with the typos!

-=A.R.N.=- said...

@Shimmer
Yeah...I see what you mean; a guy I know once complimented someone on his "nice jerkin" and that guy didn't have a clue!


@ela
Yeah, I guess that's the biggest problem...no one cares what everyone thinks of you.
Our lot is full of such kinds of people.
p.s. No problem abt the typos...as long as you touch-typed them :D

-=A.R.N.=- said...

@RukmaniRam
It's almost become a stereotype...that Indians ALL speak like that. Guess that's why the movie got it.
Btw, you quite a wordsmith!

The Messenger of Nemesis said...

bindass

Darshan Chande said...

This one is very interesting and amusing.. enjoyed reading.. And yeah, good observation there!

Liked the blog and I am following!

-=A.R.N.=- said...

@The Messenger of Nemesis
Thx dude!!

@Darshan Chande
You're welcome...and thx for following!!