"This only is our English!"

Let’s face it…we as Indians, live all over the world, with vast majorities in the United States, UK, the Middle East and Australia, and in smaller minorities in the rest of Europe and Asia.
We belong to multiple religions and share diverse cultures. We indulge in diverse cuisines and speak different languages; but one thing unites us all, and that is, how we speak our beloved English language.

A collection of the most common sentences we hear from our comrades living all over the world…and the sheer confusion it causes.


“Back home, I had a two-wheeler”
(Exactly what kind of wheelie is that?)


“I think it is over costly”
(Firstly, what’s expensive isn’t ‘costly’…and two, what’s over it?)


“Is it veg or non-veg?”
(I’ve never failed to have fun with this typical yes-I-am-from-India dialog)


“It was on that street, na?”
(Na…I don’t think so)


“Who and all went there, I don’t know”
(The “and all” adds a desi touch to any statement don’t you think?)


“So only you told him, but he will not listen, isn’t it?”
(If you understood this, congratulations!)


“No, not vacation; I’m going to my native.”
(Another classic that leaves heads spinning)


“I used to go to office by auto, sometimes share-auto”
(To be honest, I’m not sure if anyone outside India will ever understand this one)


“I’m sure he can able to do this one”
(No comments on this, please)


“Tastes very good; especially with brinjal fry”
(I don’t know why, but most Asian vegetables aren’t known in the western world. And our “brinjal” has at least two other names.)


“Sorry, but she is out of station”
(She's out of where?)


“So, where are you put up?”
(Bad enough that I have to put up with this statement, he means to ask where you live)


“Binesh sir is not here – can you call later?”
(Okay, so he’s respected, but surely this guy Binesh is not knighted?)


"Right now I'm taking food"
(...and where are you taking it?)


"What is your good name?"
(Er...you mean like I also have a bad one?)


"Since extra work came up, my evening plans went for a toss"
(Cricket-inspired jargon. Another reason I hate that game)

…and there’s probably a ton more - I just can't think of any more for the fear my head might explode. And to all you non-Indians reading this and smirking at us…yes, English is our language too.

And we will speak it like this only.
:-)