When wolves become shepherds…

A shepherd was out with his sheep one day, when a wolf came along and attacked one of them. The man chased after the wolf and took his sheep back. The wolf then turned, and spoke to the shepherd:
”If today you are protecting the sheep, but who will protect the sheep on the Day of Savagery, when there will be no shepherd to protect the sheep, except me.
The day, when wolves become shepherds…”




And today, when US president Barack Hussain Obama was awarded the Nobel Prize in Peace “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”…
…my initial reaction was:
”Say WHAT??”

Now don’t get me wrong…its not like I don’t like Obama (his monkey-faced predecessor yes, but not him, really) but I’d like to know two things:
1) What exactly did Obama do to deserve a “peace” award and
2) was there really no one else in the world who made a bigger contribution to peace this year???

Yes, I really would appreciate it if any of those guys from the Nobel Committee cared to explain exactly WHY the hell would they want to give a “peace” award for someone who hasn’t really done anything so far.
I mean okay, so he’s “strengthening diplomacy” but is that what a peace prize is for? Almost seems like an insult to what Mother Teresa did.

Which brings us to my next question:
This whole “strengthening diplomacy” thing – is that honestly the best anyone has done for peace this year; out of 6 billion people? Seriously?
Wow, it that’s really true, the future of humanity doesn’t look very promising.


But then maybe I’m just over-reacting. I guess at some level this is good news; because now the Nobel Prize – the Epitome of all that is Great and High – all of a sudden seems within reach of almost anyone.
I mean come on, if Obama can bag a peace prize after calling for renewed attacks on a country America invaded… its almost surprising why anyone else can’t have one.

Hmm, I wonder if Britney Spears would like a Nobel Prize in Chemistry next year…
Think I’ll start a campaign or something.
Who’s with me?

Ramadan reflections

Today, depending on the part of the world you're currently in, it’s either the 17th or 18th of Ramadan, the blessed month of Fasting.
And today is also the day I realized its been about a month I've been away from (mine and other people's) blogs, and the social internet in general.

Now coming to Ramadan, I’m guessing almost everyone knows at least someone muslim, but I find it alarming that in spite of this, a lot of people have quite a few misconceptions; so here we present, The Square Circle's Guide to Understanding Ramadan... for the people who didn't know it already
:)

1.
Firstly, "Ramadan" (or "Ramzan", depending on how you pronounce it) is NOT the festival. It is the blessed month when we fast and it lasts 29 to 30 days depending on the lunar calendar.
The festival is called "Eid", and that comes at the end of the month.

2.
There’s more to fasting than just staying away from food and water. The fasting person also exercises mental discipline – and that includes staying clear of fights, arguments and abusive language as well.

3.
We don't particularly appreciate it when people ask us if we’re hungry, and then wonder out loud that its incredible how you can go a whole day without eating anything.
Its not like we’re setting up a new world record by being without food and drink for 15hrs – people have been doing this for at least 1,400 years.

4.
Actually, people have been fasting for even longer than that – and every major religion on earth has and requires of its members to undergo fasts.

5.
We don’t fast to lose excess flab, cut down on calories or save on lunch money. Quite surprising even some (educated) people from work think that.
We fast because the Creator of the heavens and the earth asks us to, and we do it to seek His bounty, who has bestowed upon us all we have and don't think twice about.
(including that snickers bar in your hand right now!)

6.
If you’re a smoker, no it is not ridiculous that you have to go through the day without a smoke.
Personally, I think it is smokers who are ridiculous.

7.
Yes, women fast too.

8.
Not everyone gets to eat haleem everyday (or for that matter, knows how to make it). Yes, I do miss it, but there’s only so much a guy can cook for himself.

9.
Iftar (after sun down) is not an excuse to stuff yourself with everything in the fridge and make up for the lost food.
Unfortunately, even most muslims seem to have no clue about this.

Above all, Ramadan is a time to reflect – upon all things that we have been blessed with, of all things we aren’t thankful for, and think about all those people, who involuntarily fast every single day…

…whose fasting doesn’t necessarily end at sunset with a big table of food.

May Peace be upon you all.

The “Khan” effect

Judging by what happened yesterday, I would say US Airport Officials want us to believe that regardless of background or qualifications, anyone with the last name of “Khan” could possibly be a potential terrorist wanting to blow up all of America.

While news channels in different countries portrayed the event – the detention of Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan – as either “humiliating” (as per the Indian media) or “a dramatic over-reaction” (as per the pro-American news channels), what this really shows is how fundamentally flawed the American so-called counter-terrorism intelligence really is.

I mean firstly, not only did they manage to attack and invade a sovereign country under the pretext of non-existent Weapons of Mass Destruction (does anyone even remember that anymore?) and defend that claim for over a year, but when the truth finally did come out in 2004 – that, in fact, there really was no WMD and that the intelligence was seriously flawed – they conceded that damage was already done. And that they now had stay in order to “stabilize” a country they originally invaded on stupid intelligence.

And coming back to the present, now because Mr. Khan is a global celebrity with good political connections, he was just ‘taken aside’ for questioning and released with the full support of the Indian Embassy 2hours later.
But I shudder to think what would have become of the more common Khan – one who is not so well connected to people in high places.
Would he have been held for days, maybe weeks for the “secondary questioning”?
Or maybe even sent to Guantanamo Bay, just like the countless other innocents languishing for years there, held without any charge?

Regardless of whatever “its-all-for-security” reasons anyone gives, if a computer turns up someone’s name just because of their cultural or religious affiliation without any other basis, it shows how pathetic the whole system really is. I mean seriously, do they program those things to turn red and sound alarm bells just because someone’s NAME sounds funny?

For that, they might as well put up a sign that says,
”People named Khan, Muhammed, or Abdullah not allowed without additional verification”.

And if that’s how they are going to keep their citizens safe anymore, they really shouldn’t call themselves “The Land of The Free” anymore.

Update, 24Aug:
After extensive reading, I find out that there *is* such a thing as a "No-Fly List" in the United States and Canada, detailing names - and nothing more - of passengers who are, quite simply, not allowed to fly. Over time, this list is rumored to have grown to over a million names (although this claim is officially denied) and poses significant hinderance to the common person who unfortunately happens to shares their name with someone on the list.
In such cases, the person is expected to prove that "I am not him/her" using a variety of identification methods, and apparently almost always leads to delays/missed flights for such people.

The Arab connection

I guess I’ve mentioned a few times that I’ve been asked if I’m Arab.
Notwithstanding that time on the plane, and that other kid who mistook me for an “arabic person”, the past couple of months I’ve also been asked if I speak Arabic, more times than I’ve been asked if I speak German.

That, and the fact that at the barber saloon I go to, the guy speaks no English, no German and little Arabic, I think it would be more useful than fun to answer “Yes”, the next time someone asks.

With this view in mind, I’d like to announce that effective immediately I now start to learn, a self-taught course on Arabic.
Of course, this is not a new language for me, but having spent most of my school years dreading language classes, I guess it is still going to be a while before I can look someone in the eye and say,
”Na’am, atakallam al-Arabi”

Now, why am I saying all this here?
Because I know that two weeks down the line when I decide to give up because it is getting too way hard to learn TWO languages simultaneously (yes, my German course is still on!) I want to look back at this entry and tell myself that I’m not gonna wimp away from something I promised in Public.

And hope that’s motivation enough.
I wish me luck.
:)

Windows 7: I update, therefore I am

In case you’ve missed it, the biggest thing going around the geekosphere today is Windows7, which opened for exclusive pre-release orders in Europe at midnight.

If you’re wondering what’s going on, Microsoft is offering Windows7 (which officially launches worldwide on Oct 22) for advance pre-orders in three zones – North America, Europe and Japan – at a ridiculously special price of 49.99 EUR.

Normally, I don’t make a big deal of stuff like this but what was remarkable about this one is, the demand was apparently so high that online stores’ servers started going down all over Europe this morning!
In fact Amazon Germany was sold out in just over an hour!
Amazon UK is still struggling to keep up with demands – and other stores are having a field day as well.

Now as a person who just missed a free upgrade by getting my new laptop a week too early (Dell is offering this to all laptops bought just a week after mine), I wasn’t going to lose out on this. And so, I now stand, the proud recipient of the greatest Windows to come out in a long time.

I’ve always said I hated Windows Vista – and come October 22, I can finally smile and say,
“I told you so” 
…as I get rid of my Vista DVD.

I can hardly wait.
:)

Update:
16Jul09. Its finally official: This link from the BBC quotes Amazon as saying that “sales of Windows 7 in the first eight hours it was available outstripped those of Windows Vista's entire 17 week pre-order period”!

Man, talk about sellout! I guess Microsoft grossly underestimated how much people hated Vista to get to the next upgrade as soon as they could!

The recession and me

I hate to admit it, but the effects of the world-wide economic disaster are slowly starting to show up in our everyday lives…in places we least expect to find.

To start with, I’ve never bothered much about this whole financial fiasco because,
a) I don’t own any stocks, shares or other ridiculous make-lots-of-money-by-simply-waiting products, and
b) because let’s face it… It’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything; I mean statistically speaking, so far more people have died in car accidents last year than because of this ‘crisis’. Heck, I think global warming is a bigger deal than this, and you don’t hear a lot of noise about that!

Now don’t get me wrong. Almost every person I know, knows at least someone who’s either lost their job or on forced-sabbatical. And just for the record, I work for less pay than I did last year too, so there.

And another part of these drastic measures every business, financial organization, and academic institutes use is the introduction of ‘cost-cutting’ measures. In plain English, it means they try to find places where money is wasted and try to minimize it….such as free-coffee-after-seven schemes, or that free bus ride from your office to the nearest public transport, and even those complimentary vouchers you’re entitled to.

And here, in the picture below, is the lousiest example of cost-cutting I’ve seen so far:



Shown above are billing invoices from a popular online store (I’ve deliberately blurred it and masked the name for obvious reasons; if you can still read it – good for you – but please don’t tell them. The last thing I need right now is legal trouble)

The one on the left is the regular A4 sized invoice everyone knows and what we used to get until a few months ago.
The little scrap on the right, at less than half the regular size (even the width has been trimmed) and written in such tiny fonts that your eyes hurt, is the new invoice I got with my stuff this evening.

Now I’m not too sure if there’s another logical explanation behind this, but given the current scenario I’m willing to bet that some genius at the billing department there decided they’re wasting too much paper on the invoices – so what if customers get tiny, hard-to-read invoices – all that matters is that there’s now 60% less paper they need to send customers. Besides, customers probably just throw them away anyway.

Which gets interesting when you think about it. When Greenpeace shouted their voice hoarse over deforestation and saving paper; I don’t know how many people thought about it. And yet when the cash register starts ringing trouble, every means possible become perfectly acceptable.

Hmm, wonder how much did they save on the rest of my invoice?

Getting "Bushed"

I guess it’s been all over the news more times than necessary that the outgoing US President George Bush was thrown a pair of shoes at during a press conference in Iraq. In case you missed the news, here’s a link.

Now, putting the serious and insulting nature of the issue aside, I’d like to take this as an opportunity to introduce a new phrase into English; and I really hope this catches on.

I mean after all, not so long ago, when J.K. Rowling introduced us to the world of Magic and Muggles, hey the Oxford English dictionary brought that out and officially introduced the word in 2003!

So here’s my contribution to the world of words in our beloved language:

Bushed [bůshΔ] (verb):
The act of throwing footwear at a person, either individually or in a group, with the intention of insulting or otherwise humiliating the person; see also Getting-[v]: being a victim of such an act; [v]-ing: throwing footwear, esp. as a form of occur disrespect and the highest level of insult towards the subject.

Here’s a few examples:

When the burglar broke into the barn, he took off after the boys bushed him with leather boots.
The local judge ordered the shoplifter to be tarred, feathered and bushed.
“If you do that again, I’ll bush you in front of the entire village” threatened the town Elder.

Although I must say, something like “The president was bushed” does sound a tad bit too insulting. But I guess that’s the way a language grows :D

Pulling the plug...

...on Chennai's most popular Mall, Spencer Plaza!

Even though the city is now coming up with more hip places to 'hang out', my personal favorite will always be Spencer Plaza; for the shear variety you find...from the ultra high-end speciality audio studios and fashion outlets to the tiny side stores in the aisles where you pick tees for a hundred rupees (not to mention Samosas and chai) and everything in between!

That's why I make it a point to go there every time I'm in Chennai. Other places like CitiCenter and all look really aloof with their extravagant architecture and terribly expensive fashion outlets with prices that rival their European counterparts...and I really wonder who actually shops there.

Which is why I was more than a little annoyed to find out that the government is stupidly cutting power supply to the mall everyday between 6 and 9pm everyday in order to meet demands. EVERYDAY!

Actually something like this has been apparently going on for quite a while now; ever since this summer when record power shortages forced offices to send employees home early, industries to cut back on production and households to forgo electricity for upto 8hrs a day. Of course, such "load shedding" is common in India during the peak summer months, but is usually limited to an hour's supply of domestic power with little or no impact on commercial establishments.

But when you have this trend falling through all the way into winter and having to force major retail chains to close their outlets at malls during the busiest hours on a weekend...you know there is something seriously wrong with the city.

I mean, stopping commercial establishments from doing business at the best time of the day is honestly the stupidest thing I can think of...with or without any power shortage. 

A friend of mine recently wrote this post on India being a developing country; but the way things are now, whatever is the reverse of development is what is going on right now.

I sincerely hope the guys sitting up there in Parliament haven't traded their brains for baloney sandwiches yet; but in case they have, I have news for them:

The rest of us down here are ashamed of you!

Government under-sight may have caused it, but cutting down on progress is not a solution or even a workaround. 

It is plain stupidity.

The New Macbook...

...and I'm so in love with it!

A few days back on the 14^th of October, Apple unveiled their latest new product to hit the market – the ‘new’ Macbook.

I’m not sure why I’m paranoid enough to do a post on every single product they come up with, but I guess it has to do with the fact that Apple just keeps doing things in a completely different way…and the macbook is one thing that’s caught my attention for a real long time.

In case you’re wondering what this is all about, I strongly suggest you see the video on it.

It still uses the same (old?) Mac OS-X leopard and runs on Intel Core2Duo, but I guess the most beautiful changes you on it are in the looks and what it’s made of; literally!

The first thing that’s completely different about it from everything else is that it moves away from Apple’s signature white (or black) polycarbonate body to precision machine-cut aluminum.

What really blew my mind is the fact that they decided to manufacture the whole body as a single piece – as opposed to virtually every other notebook on the planet (that I figure uses at least a couple of dozen parts for the main body); and the only way they could do that was to machine the whole thing from a solid block of aluminum!

Yes, every new Macbook out there comes from a separate, single, solid block of aluminum. Wonder what they do with all the little pieces?

The next thing big thing is the all-glass-and-LED screen that extends all the way to the edges. I guess glass and LED are the best things that go with shiny metal, and the new macbook beautifully eliminates the frame around the screen; lending a seamless appearance to the screen.

The new trackpad (also made of glass) eliminates the click-button…and instead the whole thing is clickable anywhere you want – you can even configure a “right-click-zone” anyplace on it in case you need one (remember, macs don’t require a right-click by default).

The trackpad also features the famous multi-touch as used on the iPhones and earlier generation Macbook-Pros.

Other interesting features noteworthy are the tiny row of green LEDs on the side that indicate battery status and the invisible sleep indicator light (that’s made by shaving off the side of the aluminum from the inside and perforating microscopic holes into the surface, so you only see the light when its on)

All said and done at the end of the day however and jumping back to reality, this thing is priced at over €1,500…and that’s WAY off my budget for a long time!

Guess the only place I’m gonna see it is at the nearest Apple store.

New Delhi and the bombs

Shortly after 6:30pm IST, a series of 5 bombs rocked the Indian capital of New Delhi, killing around 2 dozen people and wounding around a hundred others.

On behalf of everyone here, we extend our deepest sympathies and condolences to the families who have lost their loved ones…for no fault of theirs. And at the same time, curse the wrecked freaks who caused this; killing innocent people in their mindless wake.

And it makes me angry thinking about it. This is not the first time this has happened, and probably is not the last. So in between when it happened for the first time and now; what has changed and what hasn’t?

As ever, the President, Prime Minister, Other Ministers, and all the guys up in Parliament, issued their standard statement expressing their “deepest concerns” and “appeal for calm and peace”.

On the face of it, it sounds like a good idea. Keep calm. And let the authorities do their job.

But as history bears witness, this does not really happen. What does happen is a series of routine tasks:

1)       The police ‘investigates’ and makes random arrests around the city of ‘suspects’…as if terrorists just hang around waiting for the police to grab them.

2)       Security gets ‘beefed up’ (whatever the hell that means) around airports, train stations and other ‘strategic locations’…as if terrorists are stupid enough to attack the most obvious places just hours after a major attack.

3)       Barricades are put up, and a major part of the public that had nothing to do with this is agonized by not being able to visit their loved ones in hospital or move away from hot spots.

4)       News channels, magazines and news sites go into overdrive on how to deal with the menace.

5)       The government reiterates its commitment to fighting violent attacks and acts of terror.

6)       The opposition party organizes rallies on how the current administration is doing such a sloppy job.

7)       Two weeks later, everyone forgets the whole thing. And life goes on as usual.

As usual of course, except for those who lost their loved ones in the attack. And then those ‘suspects’ who were rounded up just to make the police look good, and languish in dungeons with no charges laid against them.

Conveniently forget; is sadly what our country seems to do best.