I, Professional

We all pride ourselves on being professionals.

 

And, we claim, we’ve rights to. After all, we wear crisply pressed formals and polished shoes to work everyday; a suit and tie on occasions; speak flawlessly accented languages; not to mention extensive etiquettes at the dinner table and rules on handling the fork.

 

Then we step out on to the streets of Chennai, and it’s another world altogether. From cursing the auto-rickshaw driver who just overtook you to jumping red lights because ‘there was no one there’ and traveling on the wrong side of the road to cut a turn, we the ‘professionals’ do it all. And it doesn’t end in the streets. We jump queues (provided there is one, to begin with), rush into moving buses or trains, arrive 15-20 minutes late for just about anything And it doesn’t end with us.

 

We do it because everyone around us does it, and besides, you can’t expect to survive in the big city unless you join in and yell with rest of the crowd.

And crowd is right. How many of us have actually seen a polite traffic policeman?

Or how about courteous bus conductors?

Maybe a smiling face behind a counter?

And don’t even think about auto rickshaw drivers; I think it can be safe to declare auto drivers as the most despicable, loathsome and hated people in all of Chennai.

 

But skip all that. That’s on the street. Even on the job when was the last time a professional, any professional for that matter, acted such?

The other day I saw a hospital receptionist yak endlessly on the phone about some new sari she bought, blissfully unaware of the people waiting…

A banker behind the counter not sure of how to boot his computer or check the customer’s request…

Customer Care executives who don’t know what facilities their bank/telephone company/credit card company offers…

Software people engaged in a 3 hr call with their spouse/fiancé/boyfriend in spite of the pending work to be done…

Sales people in showrooms who don’t know about the discount coupon the customer is holding…

 

 

Sounds familiar? It should; after all, we are that face in the crowd. And from the looks of it, not a very professional face. Time we cleaned up our act and professionalize our professions.

Iron Maiden - Live in Concert!

Calling all Heavy Metal Fans! Iron Maiden is performing live in Bangalore.

 

Palace Grounds, - 17^th March 2007. Where will you be?

 

iPod madness

To begin with, lemme say I’m not against the cute white devil from Apple. Nor am I a fan of Microsoft Zune or Creative Vision:M or anything else for that matter. But what I really can’t understand is why the apple iPod, though remarkable an invention it may be, is such a flare all over the world.

To fully understand this madness, we must first understand the underlying technologies and market base which led to this. The market is fairly simple to understand, people wanted something to carry around and play their music. Okay, so people wanted something to carry and play ALL their music. And then photos. And videos.
Apple seized this opportunity to make the all in one device that everyone loved.But wait, wasn’t Sony already doing this? As was Creative, Panasonic, Samsung and virtually every other electronics giant worth its salt? And after Sony failed flat on its face with its Network Walkman® (which, incidentally, was the first portable music player which held tracks in a Sony proprietary ATARC format) you’d think no one else would try.

Here’s where the technology part came in: Apple made not just proprietary formats for storage, it also made the equally famous iTunes software to go with it, and the online store to purchase legal music…and it was a huge hit. So the customers were happy, record companies were happy, anti-piracy guys were happy and the anti-peer-to-peer-sharing guys from the state department were happy. But that’s were the happiness ends.

I personally hate it not because of its shortcomings; there are lots of them starting with the fact that they don’t even provide a charger – leaving you to charge with your pc USB. And the fact that I can’t transfer my music from one pc to another or need purchase music online (come on, how many of us in India would do that?)

I hate it because of its over-hyped-up status.
Something like a class act, where many advertisements featuring a cool dude wears an iPod.

Levi jeans for launching the “iPod Jeans” to carry an iPod with all its accessories.

All those stupid car audio systems like Pioneer which boast to be “iPod Ready”.

Data comparisons which used to claim that something was so large that it would fit on a such and such stack of books, it now said to fit on so many iPods!

Even NASDAQ launched a nonsensical new index called the “iPod Index” which, like the Big-Mac® index, compares the growth rate of a currency based on the price of the player there.

Even an I-have-too-much-money builder in Dubai who’s constructing an iPod shaped apartment building called The iPad.

My point is, isn’t there any other music player in the world? Or is the Pod the only thing people see?

It’s not about a great music player. It’s about something bigger called mass marketing.
And one thing’s for sure: iPod will rule as long as it is hyped up. Remember, sheep only follow the herd.

Happy Women’s Day!

No offense to the ladies, but can someone tell me er…why exactly are we celebrating this?

Now relax, there’s no need to get all worked up about this one guy who can’t even appreciate the wonders of womanhood or whatever, but seriously, I fail to see the point.

True, women are now doctors, teachers, engineers (not to mention software architects ;-), even nuclear scientists and astronauts.

But when it comes to the glamorous world of entertainment, women today are more than ever, being projected as worth nothing more than an object. Check out the fashion industry (watch FTV with your family, for instance), check out the music industry, how about advertisement, or a steamy movie…
I really will not agree that Britney Spears or Shakira are famous because they can sing.
Not will I agree that Mallika Sharawat or Pamela Anderson is a brilliant actor

The fact is that freedom can be brainwashing, everyone thinks that liberation means to be someone else’s plaything.

If this is the real liberation of women, then I guess the feminists still have a long way to go

Tax this!

Yes, it’s that time of the year again when the budget is out and as usual, we are disappointed. “We” is the middle class, the working section, those morons in the IT industry, the scapegoats of the economy, whatever you choose to call it.

I don’t know when it came about but historically, its always been like this. Poor people don’t have much to worry about; the only problem is that they are poor, and there are lots of government schemes to help out farmers, the ‘backward castes’ (I’m ashamed to even write the word), poor students, poor widows and poor everyone else. Rations give the privileged poor provisions; reservation gives the privileged poor positions. And if there’s no better income, Professional begging is also a big hit. And by the way, there’s no tax on begging.

On the other hand, very rich people don’t have much to worry about either: There’re lots of loop-holes to jump into to evade taxation if you’re really big in business (we’re talking big as in over hundreds of crores). You can always leave the country to get NRI status, or like many rich folks, ‘blacken’ your money. And if you have a few friends in high places here and push a few bank notes there, you’re still rocking no matter you how much income you have.

So who’s the real idiot? We the people, those pathetic, job-dependent, salary-based, dimwits who slog long hours of the day and night in front of a computer to make an ‘enviable’ salary and end up paying a third of it to taxes.

Scapegoat or concerned citizen? You decide.

Whoa, Cocoa!

I don’t know if I ever mentioned that I'm a great fan of high coca chocolates, more commonly known as Dark or bitter chocolates. Recently a friend abroad bought me a bar of an amazing (and terribly expensive at 4 Euro a bar) chocolate, the “Lindt Excellence Cocoa” with over 80% cocoa and I relished every bit of it. Now it so happens that our regular bar of chocolate contains not more than 5-10% cocoa so you can understand how rich this was.

So once again when another friend asked me what I wanted, I was not undecided: Lindt Excellence with as much cocoa content as available. So he got me the Mother of all Dark Chocolates; the Lindt Excellence Noirissime with 99% pure virgin cocoa, and I was only too delighted.

I was a bit surprised though, because even though the elaborate packing (with pull-out tray and flavor-lock sealing) was expected, this was the first I’ve seen with a “Tasting Advice” on the peel-up foil cover. It soberly stated that in order to ‘fully appreciate all the flavors and bouquet of aromas’, we had to ‘progressively develop our palate through the tasting of other high cocoa ranges’ and taste with ‘a small piece left to melt in the mouth’. Humph, some build up for a miserable chocolate, I decided and popped in a piece in my mouth.

The next few minutes were kind of hard to describe.

The next day I threw out the rest of it out the window and vowed never to touch bitter chocolate again.

All-in-one bricks, anyone?

When the humble cellphone was first invented, its mission was simple: make and receive calls on the move. And move, mind you, meant carrying a half kilo of electronics that would miraculously let you talk to anyone, anywhere.

It wasn't long before some genius figured people would rather 'write' as well and sms was born. That, and our 'progress' kept the wheels turning and pretty soon we had phones that came with clocks, calculators, rudimentary organisers, dumb games and stuff. Then came color displays. Someone put in a camera next.
FM radios.
MP3 players.
Better cameras.
Bluetooth.
Even better cameras with zoom and auto-focus.

Currently, the Nokia N93 monster stands tall at 180grams!

But honestly, do we seriously need things that do everything all at once and carry nearly quarter of a kilo (literally!) in our pockets? Guess its time we lightened things up a bit and went back to the basics...

Feminism, Liberation, and all that crap...

Around 4 decades ago, a movement started somewhere in the western world that promised to liberate women, break free from the bonds of domestic bondage and deliver them to a world where everyone was equal without discrimination.

Free from the confines of home, where women (especially in villages) were only allowed to do domestic work around the house and not allowed to venture outside. Free from forced marriages to big ugly brutes. Free to seek education and employment and compete outside in ‘the real world’. Yeah! Feminism had victory.

Some 40 odd years later, what do we see? Undeniably, there has been progress no doubt, but seriously… think about it.

>>When you check out women’s fashion vis-à-vis men’s what do we see? How many men wear see-through’s or clothes half their body size. How many shows do we have showcasing mens’ innerwear???

>>When we look at the world of music, what do we see? The most successful women musicians are only the most sexiest ones…

>>When we just talk about movie people, how many times have men been reduced to a set of figures like 36-26-36 except for maybe a bicep?

Look at advertising, why do most men’s products have provocative women on them?
Look at entertainment, why do most magazines have sexy artistes on the cover?
Look at television, after 11pm, any channel…

Why do you think the porn grew into the multi-billion industry it is today?

The sad truth is, our friends the feminists are no nearer their goals then they were decades ago. You can say anything you want, but the fact remains that in today’s world, women are projected as worth nothing more than an object, an item of desire and use.

I guess its time we opened our eyes to the REAL cause for women…

The Qana Massacre

On the 30th of July, a group of innocent civilians who've never held a gun or hurt anyone, many of them little children, driven from their own homes for of fault of theirs, surviving on whatever was left of the rubble after their homes were destroyed, sheltered in a building in a town down in south Lebanon.

The night before when they went to sleep, little did they realize what they would wake up to..
38 Children and many others never woke up; they were blown to bits by enemy shelling targeted at A BUILDING FULL OF CIVILIANS!!!!!

Now the 'talks' are on, 'roadmaps' to a 'ceasefire' are being discussed at great length and breadth. But who will pay for the life of 38 10 year-olds who never got to see an eleventh birthday?

Eye for an eye...

A few weeks back, a bunch of morons kidnapped (or whatever) Israeli soldiers from Lebanon. And before you know it, the whole nation was up in arms, waging a bloody war.

Who loses? Not Israeli Army...Not Hizbollah...certainly not the United States. Innocent civilians whose only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Everyone can fire all the rockets or grenades or whatever they want at all the 'terrorists' they know... but who dies is an all-together different story.

10 year olds needn't have to die for that....

UN - Are You Listening?????

Lincoln Park. I beg your pardon?

When this international band was first formed, it had (like every other brand that sought to establish itself) problems with what to call itself. That’s when Chester Bennington, who forms vocals for LP along with Mike Shinoda, suggested that they call themselves Lincoln Park because Bennington used to drive by a Lincoln Park on the way to the recording studio everyday.

This, he thought, would establish the band at the street level. Unfortunately for him, the domain lincolnpark.com was already taken and they couldn’t afford to buy it. So they decided to change the spelling and sure enough linkinpark.com was available.

The rest is history…

Dead by the beach

On a lovely sunny Friday morning on the 9th of June, 2006 a Palestinian family went on a picnic to the beach. They had nice food and games planned for the day. What they didn't plan on was ending up dead.

Dad and the kids were playing by the sea when all of a sudden a huge blast rocked the golden sands. For some of the kids, it was the last thing they ever heard. Mom rushed over in a frenzy as her entire family fell around her dead or dying. Coast gaurd and other people rushed in to help but it was alreadt too late for 3 of her children. Dad and rest of the people injured were rushed to nearby hospitals; aid poured in from other poeple around; but the damage was done. Official sources put the toll at 7, including 3 children; but of course, we know how 'official' figures are done. More than 35 people ended up in hospitals, many were children.

Some people recover, some die, some lose entire families in an instant, some get killed on their way to school; or work, or simply sitting at home doing nothing. The international community 'condemns' this; Israeli Army 'investigates' this; the United Nations ignore.

Life goes on...